Thursday, 6 August 2009

You know who else thought David Tennant was better than Tom Baker? Hitler.

Thesis: The state of argumentative discourse and spirited debate on the internet has become tragically retarded.

I mean "retarded" in the sense of unnaturally slowed, of course, not in the sense of teaching developmentally disabled kids to build Aryan-Indian Buddhist wigwams out of clay. (Check out our facebook page if that made no sense to you!)

The problem is, there are only ever three stages of disagreeing with someone on the internet anymore.

Stage 1: You say something sarcastic about their original argument, the nuance gets lost because it's in print, and they think you are either agreeing with them, acting like a passive-aggressive knob, or maybe a little of both. Foiled!

Stage 2: You call them a douchebag. Or a douchenozzle. Or a douchebox, or a douchehound, or a douchepit, or a douchedouche. Except that insult is so overplayed you may as well be blowing them innocuous, candy-scented kisses. The word "douchebag" floats through the air like a silent breeze and they pass right through it, refreshingly misted. Foiled!

Stage 3: Compare them to Hitler.

Well, I'm here with a solution to Stage 2, because "pighat" is going to be the next "douchebag".

It's PG-13, and yet completely, utterly humiliating. It connotes levels of fail and shame that "douchebag" could only ever hint at. I guarantee it will be big. And if it isn't, well, at least we still have Stage 3.

(PS pighat image ganked from the homemade hilarity facebook page because I AM SO LAZIEST OF ALL LAZIES and I steal Julia's collection of crapfts)


  1. Would it be pighattish of me to want one of those with feathery wings?

  2. Yup ... pighat ... I'm totally using that. You are so unerringly correct that douchebag is a term that has become so overused as to become nearly as useless as the 'f-bomb'. I've always liked the term 'A$$hat' but Pighat ... even bettah!


  3. Well Tom Baker never got me through a lonely night with a pint of Ben and Jerry's. ;)

    Then again, Tom Baker didn't have way-too-sappy drama with his blonde companion... so he's definitely got that going for him.


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