Wednesday 6 May 2009

Dear Sweet Merciful Jesus in Fancy Pants, This Is Just So Wrong

Share
So I recently got an email from David D. alerting me to the full extent of Hello Kitty's horrific takeover of the modern world, specifically their hostile assimilation of the pet-clothing market, which I must admit I thought ended about ten years ago. I really had no idea. And, while these Hello Kitty pet accessories (including necklaces, collars, brushes, and the like) may not be homemade, they are definitely hilarious. Take this pet hood for example:


If that doesn't look like a massive stuffed animal puking up a mildly retarded dog head first then I don't know what does. I also fail to see the point of it, really. Is it a hat? Is it a helmet? Is it an homage to unnecessary jackassery? Inquiring minds want to know.

David D also sent me a link to this little gem, a company that just happens to sell bathing suits for dogs. Let me repeat that: this is a bathing suit... for a dog. A bathing suit. For your dog. A bikini, as a matter of fact. Because obviously, your yorkie has a massive pair of knockers s/he'd like to keep covered up while still being able to get a full-body tan while lounging by the pool with a mojito.


So then, after seeing that last picture, I thought to myself "Surely, dog bikinis don't really exist. Surely, this is the only one." Oh, how wrong I was. After a bit of research, I came across this next photo, which, if I recall correctly, elicited a gasp from me the likes of which have never been previously seen.
And trust me, this isn't a joke: I really couldn't come up with this kind of crazy.

Although, to be fair, this may very well be a prairie dog. Or a gopher, for that matter. It could quite possibly be a patriotic gopher bikini. With padded tits. God bless America.

9 comments:

  1. Oh, man!!! My chest hurts from laughing so damned hard. The expressions on the little dogs' faces are hilarious! Thanks for making my day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh God, where to start?! They're all so wrong and heinous. Those poor, poor dogs. Someone should be arrested for animal cruelty.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know what the "helmet" thing is and the bikinis are just gross!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm with Me-Me King-I am in pain from the laughter-congrats, it has been a while since someone made me actually sick from laughing. Well done-
    J.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah...USA, USA...bikini wear...USA, USA!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. We have one of those little dogs,, then kind you can stick in your tampon box and sneak on the plane..and she gets so cold in the winter when she goes out to pee.. We tried to leave a jacket on her for the 3 minutes she has to pee.. it comes back in shreds... I have no idea how these people get their dogs to wear this goofy crap..

    ReplyDelete
  7. I vote "homage to unnecessary jackassery," but then again you know I have a ridiculous affinity for the word "jackassery."

    P.S. I bought Snuggles a muscle shirt the other day. It's a shirt with "swimtrunks" printed along the bottom and faux muscles printed on the top. Don't judge me. I'm a sick person.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LOL. The first one cracks me up...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Rebecca Richardson26 July 2009 at 22:45

    REMOVE MY DOG'S PHOTO IMMEDIATELY. YOU DID NOT ASK PERMISSION TO USE HER PIX ON THIS BLOG. SHE IS THE CATTLE DOG WEARING THE HELLO KITTY HAT. REMOVE AT ONCE OR I WILL ALERT AUTHORITIES.

    R. RICHARDSON

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts with Thumbnails