You Can Hear It Coming. It Sounds Like Techno.

So scientists have known for years that lying to Jesus causes cancer and that smoking weed can make a girl pregnant, but they have remained baffled about how people get The Gay. That is, of course, until now. After doing extensive research in the dense untamed jungles of Castro Street, I have recently discovered a previously-unknown species of crapft which I have aptly named The Fluffy Gay Rainbow Love Butterfly Of Equal Opportunities And Extensive Gayness, of the genus "latch-hook". And it is the gayest thing that has ever existed. Just glimpsing this amount of sheer gay in person will be enough to turn even the straightest army sergeant or catholic priest bi-curious, and if, in the off-chance that one of this butterfly's blown kisses finds your sweet lips while you're dreaming of Hugh Grant, you've got The Gay. It's that simple.

I've started a breeding program for this rare species at the nearby Joanne Fabrics, if anyone is interested.