For those of you not in the UK, The Sun is a "newspaper" that focuses on "important" "news items" from around the nation in a "non-biased" and totally "cerebral manner" (read: a glorified English News Of The Weird that interviews the likes of the utterly unimportant and totally inconsequential like Katie Price and Peaches Geldof. Seriously, for your own sanity, please don't click the hotlinks. Save yourself, my tender Americans. Save yourselves.)
Anyway, I was perusing this most important of news sources yesterday, and unwittingly stumbled across the most bewildering of columns: A how-to for expensive home-made fashion. As I'm sure you are already well-aware, I am no fan of the idiotic tutorial, and to find this with the thrown-in high-class factor made me positively giddy with delight. And pointed laughter. But mostly delight.
So here we go - the step-by-step totorial to creating a Ben De Lisi - like shirt. Enjoy the crazy.
Food-splattered shirtDesigner version (on the left): £1,000 by Ben De Lisi
Sun version (on the right): FREE
You will need:
An old white shirt, a bit of net curtain, red wine, green pesto, tomato ketchup, make-up, glue, scissors.Step 1:
Cut the net curtain in circles and glue to shirt wrists.Step 2:
Splatter ketchup, pesto, wine and make-up on the shirt until it's dirty.Et finis
And you know what? I don't even know what to tell you. Take an old button-down and rub it with ketchup and baby vomit and suddely it's high fashion, I guess. Half of me is saying "wow, that's disgusting" and the other half is saying "finally, I have a use for all those shirts I've drunkenly puked on. Win."
Click here for more amazing fashion advice!! Thanks The Sun!