This is what happens when you shop your contracts for heart-warming fairy tale happy endings out to the lowest bidder. Shoddy workmanship.
The happiest night of your life and all your conversations go the same way: "Prince Charming! Why hello, I don't think OH MY FEET OH HOLY MOTHER OF FEET we've been properly introduced, my name is Cinderella, and of course I'm a big fan JUST CUT THEM OFF AND END THIS TWISTED CARNIVAL OF SHARPNESS of your work with the kingdom and all. Shall we dance languidly beneath that shaft of moonlight I AM IN A UNIVERSE OF PAIN?"