Ever since I started this website a long, long time ago last December, I've slowly been building up a collection of knitted food items. Why I've done this should be immensely apparent - not only are knitted food items ridiculously useless, but they are pretty damn hideous, as well. For example:
This is a knitted plate of knitted scrambled eggs. Why, I couldn't tell you.
Or how about these:
They're knitted 'healthy sandwiches'. And I have no freaking clue what you're supposed to do with them. Keep them on a table in the living room and every once in a while humorously pick one up and pretend to eat it and go "Om num num" before you fall into a fit of pre-pubescent-esque giggling? Offer one to a friend after you tell them that you made lunch and then laugh heartily at your own heretofore unrecognized hilariousness? Just look at them in disdain while you wish they were real sandwiches? I wish I knew. I wish I knew.
Lastly, though, this was the photo that pushed me over the edge, and forced me to finally confront my fears:
What is it, you ask? It's a crocheted dollop. A freaking crocheted dollop with a crocheted minty sprig. A dollop of what, I have absolutely no clue. Is it a dollop of asanine? A dollop of bat-shit crazy? A dollop of you-need-to-get-a-job-immediately? Personally, I think it is a dollop of Mildly-Retarded. And I don't agree with its point of view.