Sunday, 22 March 2009

IKEA Fails Are Spectacular And Affordable


Oh IKEA, thou hast maketh me titter with delight.
I might even go as far as to say that you have made me chortle lengthily.
In fact, I continue to LOL heartily at your floor lamp, BUKT, which I must say, looks nothing like a floor lamp. That is because it looks like intestines. It looks like intestines more than anything else I have ever seen, other than actual intestines. And yet, you think it is a floor lamp.

Crazy Swedes with their crazy Swedish mass-marketed intestinal floor lamps at affordable prices, and their 5-for-a-dollar meatballs. When will they learn.

So I actually went to IKEA a couple days ago (I had a hankering for pre-fabricated kitchens and lingenberry. What can I say.) and I actually saw this lamp in person. Let me just tell you - it's a hell of a lot bigger than I was expecting, and even more hideous than I ever could have imagined. Just thought you might want to know. It's massive. Seriously - it's like 10ft long.


  1. "chortle lengthily"...I like that! The luminescent Swedish intestines...not so much.

  2. I just found your blog, and I'm glad I did. Wow, who knew about all the great stuff out there in the world!

    BTW, the lamp looks like an unfurled condom.

  3. "Noooooooo, they be takin mah bukt!"

    -Swedish lolrus

  4. Perhaps a wrinkly old man' part?

  5. If that's a wrinkly old man's man part, then if I were that wrinkly old man I might, notwithstanding its disconcertingly concertina-ed nature, be sneakily proud.

    Although I have to say that I believe that 'Bukt' is Swedish for 'albino elephant trunk', and it is part of a range that includes the 'giant angler fish desk lamp', and the 'mammoth tusk rocking chair'. Because they still have mammoths in Sweden.

  6. Hilarious. Looks like Woody Allen's sperm suit.

  7. Yep, the first thing I thought was "tapeworm".

  8. LOL -- So how is that a lamp?

    The sad thing is that I hate IKEA, and yet I furnish my entire apartment with IKEA crap.


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