Saturday, 20 December 2008

Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

Sometimes I find I have to sit back in amazement and just marvel at the sheer volume and breadth of the creative wonders eagerly spewed forth in honor of the holiday season. This happens to be one of those such times. After hours scouring the internets in the name of fugly, I've lovingly compiled this selection of Christmas trees comprised of only the most outstanding, most noteworthy, most innovative creations which have left me, well, hugely dumbfounded.

This festive tree was produced from a piece of Palm bark. And for the life of me I cannot figure out why. It's just.. so.. ugly. And it's fraying. And lord knows what that explosion of yellow on top is supposed to be. I mean, why not just use construction paper? Or felt scraps? Hell, half-eaten m&ms stapled to a finger-painted toilet roll would look more decadent than this mess. My fellow crafters, try to bear in mind at all times that just because you can doesn't always mean that you should.

Imagine this "candy tree" taken out of the context of Christmas and placed in one of your friend's houses on a side table. Or once it's half eaten, and has large bizarre bald spots filled only with empty candy wrappers and old glue. Truly, this looks more like a swarm of deformed ladybugs attacking one of those ever-elusive "table-top stalagmites" than a charming, cheery, Christmas-inspired tree of candy.

This, my friends, is called a 'Christmas button-tree', or, as I like to refer to it, a 'Questionably shaped waste of both buttons and time."

I swear to you this is not a joke. This tree really does exist, in the corner of somebody's honest-to-God living room, with potholders truly hanging off of it as ornaments, and a baby gate genuinely set up to protect it lest any misfortune prey on it's stunning boughs. And the owner of this magnificient creation was proud enough of their superior decorating skills to post this picture online as a benchmark for others. I promise I wouldn't kid about something this hilarious.


  1. Wow.
    That last tree strikes me as a thinly veiled cry for help.

    I think the Chuck E Cheese balloon adds to the sense of Christmas majesty.

  2. By the color of the walls, I would say that it's in a retirement residence. Lookit that fantastique sunset hotel-aht!



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