Friday, 18 December 2009

It's Going to be a White Christmas After All! A White, Powdery, Possibly Illegal Christmas.

I have big news, everyone!  It's our birthday!  Believe it or not, Homemade Hilarity has been spewing vitriol, darkening doorways, and making crafters cry tears of spite for an entire year now.  What a wonderful achievement!  I feel like I've really done something to, you know, to like, better society and shit. So pass me a tall warm glass of Champale cause I'm gonna celebrate!

To help ring in a brand new holiday season, and to commemorate HH's milestone, I've compiled a simple guide to creating your very own elegant, classy, young-Hollywood-chic Christmas (brought to you by ETSY!).  You know, for when you want to feel like you're really living the high-life of all the Winehouses and Hiltons out there, but can't afford to splash out on real cocain and herpes, Homemade Hilarity is here to help.  Because we love you.

Rule 1: Don't bother buying a Christmas tree.  Seriously.  Just don't bother.  You'll only get tangled in the strings of lights in one of your nightly drunken stupors and wake up wrapped around a spruce with your pants round your knees and your jingle bells in an awkward situation.  Instead, just chop some springs off your neighbor's juniper, shove them into a toilet paper tube, and sprinkle some of your leftover crack dust over the whole mess and call it a day.  Otherwise, you could just buy this fine specimen from ETSY for $32.  Either way.

Rule 2: Buy lots of these "Silver Japanese Maple" (wink wink) ornaments.  And hang them EVERYWHERE.  Everywhere.  Because they're elegant.  And tooootally representative of your love for "Silver Japanese Maple" leaves.  Yes.  That's right.  Maple leaves.  Non-smokeable Maple leaves.

Rule 3: Dig out all of your used pipe cleaners (and I know you have lots of used pipe cleaners) and get to work.  With a lot of old pipe cleaners, and only a little bit of talent, you, too can create this beautiful, uh, thing.  This $7 thing.  Mouse ... I'm told it's a mouse. This lovely $7 mouse.

Rule 4:  Lastly, do whatever you can to get your hands on this season's Lindsay Lohan snowman figurine!  From the "snow" on her nose to her emaciated frame, this is sure to be a hit with all the deluded starlets this holiday season.  For only $65, this anorexic trippy-eyed treat should take pride-of-place on any cigarette-stained mantle or glass-topped coffee table.

Hope this guide will be of some help, all you crazy hipster kids out there.  Just, you know, enjoy Christmas responsibly.  Don't drink and drive and all that.  And lay off the wacky tobaccy.  And crack is whack.  And stay in school.  Hugs, not drugs, kids.

Also, feel free to send birthday presents!  We love birthday presents!  We also love posting birthday presents! Presents sent to us in the form of fun pictures! We love posting them with links back to the birthday present picture sender!  (not so subtle wink wink).


  1. Happy Birthday! I tried to send Cat but he kept jumping out of the box!

  2. The tree stand in the first picture is a yarn spool, rather than a tp tube - not that that makes it any better. I'm just curious though, is that the head of Frosty the Snowman displayed on the left?

  3. Happy birthday! The Olsen twins are bringing my gift over for you!

  4. With regard to the skinny Lindsay Sno-han figurine, I was going to ask 'what is it made of?'

    But I realise that the correct question is 'WHY is it made of?'

  5. Only a year old? You're so YOUNG! Which just means we have many more years to go...

  6. Happy, Happy Birthday! I LOVE this site and wish you another year filled with shitty, homemade crap :)


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