It's A Bit Unsettling, Let's Be Honest

"What is this necklace made out of" you ask?
"Why, bobcat, of course" I respond.
"Bobcat" you ask?
"Yes, bobcat." I respond.
"What do you mean, bobcat" you ask?
"I mean, this necklace is made out of freaking bobcat. It is bobcat. As in, the necklace... it is bobcat." I respond.
"So those are..." you lead.
"Yes, those are bobcat bones" I respond.
"And that is.." you ask?
"Yes, that is a bobcat tooth" I respond.
"Is it..." You lead.
"Yes... It is real." I respond. "And that is apparently all you need to know."

source

Duuuuuude

Given that Easter is right around the corner and, as we all know, nothing says "Jesus died and then came back to life before disappearing entirely from a cave" quite like pink bunnies laying eggs, so I thought I'd appease the marshmallowed forces that be and slap this lil guy up to help herald in this not-at-all-pagan holiday. Though, truthfully, I can't be sure if it is a bunny in the process of eating a small child, or a small child wearing a startled bunny. Or what, exactly, it is made out of. Or what happened to its limbs. Or what the hell it is, really. Nonetheless, this is extremely pink and shiny and I'm guessing covered in pop-rocks so if it doesn't fit the bill for a thoroughly religious Easterday, I couldn't tell you what does.

Oh, and it would seem that I may have been ripped off by another site (although, to be fair, I'm a big fan of their work). Here's mine, dated March 4th, and here's theirs, dated April 1st. If it's true, I guess I'm flattered?

I Don't.... I Just Don't Know

So, I, uh... ...

Maybe it's like...

Or, if, well...

it, uh... ...


Yeah, I got nothing.

Please Don't Macramake (See What I Did There?) Me Any Of This Tomfuckery

See, this magazine says "Practical Macrame with an accent egu" but I have my doubts. Because while I'm not arguing the fact that it may be macrame, and it may have an accent egu, I'm not completely sold on the fact that it is practical. Is it hideous? Absolutely. Is it something to wear? I guess so. Is it able to catch fish in the rainy season? Definitely. But is it practical? Well, I dare you - I absofuckinglutely dare you to tell me how this macramess will add a level of practicality to your wardrobe that has heretofore gone unnoticed. In fact, I'll give you a whole dollar if this is anything other than just bizarrely hideous. Because, let's face it, this is just bizarrely hideous.



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Paint Fumes Are Never Wasted In The Company Of A Crafter

As all of my oldest friends can tell you, I love an obscure phrase as much as a toucan likes a good laugh in the afternoon, but let me tell you, this crapft is as fug as a tightrope-walking pony after breakfast. But, you know what they say: You can't tell a midget to hula-hoop in the rain, although truthfully, who would want to.

Chicken sandwich.