Sorry I disappeared for about two years there, everyone. I suppose I should have left a note, or sent a postcard, or at least called the kids on Christmas or something, but it's kind of a funny story really. No, no, I'll tell you all about it later. I can see you're busy with your new favourite website and I wouldn't really want to interfere. I'm just stopping through to let you know that I'm back around and that I'm really going to make something of myself this time. No, seriously. I'm going to get myself cleaned up, maybe design a new header, just get the whole website organized, try to make you and the kids real proud of me again. Here; just to show my dedication I even brought you a new crapft:
See! See how much I care! I BROUGHT YOU A CARTOON COUPLE MADE OUT OF BANDAIDS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! LOVE ME!!!111
Okay, I'm cool, I'm cool. I just, you know, care. So I'm gonna go now, but I'll be back. Go ahead and tell your parents that I haven't died, and I'm going to make it all okay this time. Tell them that.
One thing before I go, though - can you loan me 50 bucks until Tuesday? I'm good for it this time, I swear.