I know, I know. I've been negligent. I'm a bad, bad lady. You can stop sending the sad-face emails. I get it. I've done the internet equivalent of leaving my dog/baby/husband in the car for a week during the summer with the windows rolled up. And nothing but Mountain Dew to drink. But I'm back, at the very least showing my face to claim the carcass of whatever may be left of my lovely website. And to show my undying devotion to you, my lovely and patient readers, I'm going to present you with one of my favourite tutorials ever. EVER. I forgot where I found it, but it shows, concisely, how to make yer own haute couture using the jeans you got too fat for years ago.
Here we go! Step one: grab your old jeans (you know, the ones you were only able to wear for one season back in '05)
Step 2: Cut these, uh, shapes, out of the denim. These non-matching, dirty-looking shapes. Don't worry - you're 90% of the way there.
Step 3: Sew together haphazardly, preferably without adding a lining or even a back of any sort, and try to fray the edges as much as possible for a truly classy look. Remember: sideboob is god's gift to prebubescent boys!
Taa-da! That, my friends, is how to look unbelieveably awesome in just three easy steps.