Oh, hellooooo there. Welcome to my house. What's that? Why yes, since you ask I do have to keep my friend Maude here on permanent retainer to carry my billowing chickenwire gown wherever I go. But Maude and I have grown quite close in the two years that she's been carrying my chickenwire gown, and although I do sometimes wish that I could run and ride a bike and frolic on the beach like normal people who aren't wearing chickenwire gowns, my loss of mobility and privacy is a small price to pay for looking like a complete and utter ass-clown. Wouldn't you say, Maude?
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