How Fat Are You, Exactly?

Wow. Really, just wow. I think that, quite possibly, this is the worst idea ever. Seriously. If only I were exaggerating. Honestly, the only thing that could possibly make this tape-measure belt any worse is a matching pair of loafers with scales in the soles and a digital display for your forehead, and that's only marginally worse. I think I can honestly say that I would rather hire a small child to hold up my pants all day than use a tape measure as a belt. In fact, if given the choice, I would rather staple my jeans to my abdomen than wear a tape measure as a belt. Hell, I would surely prefer to not wear any pants at all and wrap the tape measure around my face enough times to obscure my identity (and/or lose consciousness) than actually wear a tape-measure as a belt. It is just that bad of an idea.

BTW, is anyone else wondering what the holy fuck happened to this crafter's bellybutton?