Ahem.

This is obviously a reconstruction of a, uhm, cat's ear.  Yeah, that's right, a cat's ear. Definitely a cat's ear. I don't know what you thought it was at first, but I'm telling you this is a big, hairy cat's ear.  For, you know, those times when you want to dress like a pussy.  Cat.  Pussy cat.

So There's a Back-Story to This One (vagina)

So I just got an iPhone, which I have found beyond amazing, and I downloaded the free 'google search' application. With vocal recognition. Or so they claim. Anyway, I'm not even going to go into what I was trying to search for, vocally, but here's what I got:


And there you have it. A giant, homemade, bike-riding vagina. With its own personal assistant.
And all I was searching for was local sea-food restaurants.
I'm impressed.


WOW, GUYS, I'M AMOST TO 250 FOLLOWERS! IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW ME ALREADY, PLEASE DO SO SO I CAN HAVE AN EXCUSE TO DRINK MYSELF INTO AN EXCITED FRENZY TONIGHT!

A shy creature, ill suited for domestication

Most species of hermit vaginas have long soft abdomens which are protected from predators by the adaptation of carrying around a salvaged empty seashell into which the whole vagina can retract. Most frequently hermit vaginas utilize the shells of sea snails, marine gastropod mollusks. The tip of the hermit vagina's abdomen is adapted to clasp strongly onto the columella of the shell. As the hermit vagina grows in size, it has to find a larger shell and abandon the previous one.

There are about five hundred known species of hermit vagina in the world, most of which are aquatic and live in saltwater at depths ranging from shallow coral reefs and shorelines to deep sea bottoms. However in the tropics, a number of species are terrestrial, and some of these can grow to quite a large size, for example, Kirstie Alley's.



Do you know all the various group terms for animals? A murder of crows, a school of fish, a pride of lions? The group term for hermit vaginas is actually "a lilith fair of vaginas". This lilith fair has actually left the safety of their shells to transition to large ones, an elusive subject for photos to be sure!

Everybody Loves a Vagina

Although I suspect this might be pushing it.

He should really get that checked out.

Speaking of which:

... ... this isn't exactly the most romantic thing I've ever read. Although I'm glad to hear there is no rape between us. That's refreshing.


Don't forget - if you like my site, the easiest way to show your everlasting effection is through subscribing as a follower. And, as I only have ten more to go until I have 100 followers, the next ten people to subscribe will get a link from my site. An amazing offer, I know.

Wow. I Clearly Overestimated My Fan Base.

After yesterday's overwhelming response to a couple badly-made vaginas, I think I'm gonna roll with it and offer up some ovaries today in the hopes of really sparking a Twitter frenzy. Then maybe I'll make some fart jokes and talk about boobies for a while, before I spend an hour making muscles into my bedroom mirror. Amazing, isn't it, how absolutely everyone on the internet is a 12-year-old boy. Astounding, really.

But first, one last vagina to really send you all a-flutter:

That should tide over all your pre-pubescent minds for at least a few days, let's hope. I mean, it's made out of purple satin and sequins and everything.

And here we go, my fellow middle-schoolers, this is what a rainbow knitted door-hanging uterus with pom-pom ovaries looks like. Because I'm sure you were wondering. Try not to get too excited.


And this is a glitter poof-paint uterus shirt currently for sale on Etsy, for those of us who want to be able to wear a hideous diagram of our baby-making machines in all of its glittering, poof-painted glory.


I already ordered mine as a sheet set in orange.

Special thanks goes out today to one of my favoritest bloggers out there, HeatherCherry, who, like myself, thinks that fruit cozies are god's gift to mankind. If you don't know what a fruit cozy is, you need to go to her site and see it to believe it.

I Have Two Vaginas

Sorry everyone! I'm feeling a bit under the weather today, so I'm just gonna leave you with these:


Yes, it's a vagina. A knit vagina.


And this? This is a vagina wallet.

Enjoy.

Oprah's Vagina Has Its Own Holiday?

What in sam hill is going on around here? How did I miss this? When I started looking through my daily list of blogs this afternoon it quickly became obvious that today appears to be, officially, Oprah's Vah-jay-jay Day nation-wide. It was all I could do to hold back from punching myself for not keeping up on something as important as Oprah's vagina and whether or not it has its own holiday. Gosh, I feel like such an idiot. I mean, of course someone as powerful as Oprah's vagina would be granted special privileges. I can only imagine that after receiving the congressional medal of honor last year and the key to Chicago the year before, the only distinction left for Oprah's vagina, really, was its own holiday. So, everyone, in honor of the heroic efforts and monumental sacrifices made over the years by Oprah's one-and-only, I give you today's gallery of awesome.

The majestic Oprahmobile, which famously runs on the kisses of orphans and the dreams of the illiterate. Naturally, it also comes standard with its own team of halo'ed trumpeting angels which harken upon its arrival, or its departure, or at hot girls walking down the sidewalk:


The last thing the fajita saw before it died:

Aaaaand, my favorite portrait of anyone, ever:

Doesn't she just look special.


If you don't believe me about it being a national holiday, I don't blame you. It does seem almost too good to be true. Don't just take my word for it, though - check out any of these sites and see for yourself.

http://www.Crotchetyoldman.com
http://soggy-doggy-bloggy.blogspot.com/
http://sanityonedge.blogspot.com/
http://www.offendedblogger.com/
http://nonamedufus.blogspot.com/
http://www.momscrazylife.com/

See what I mean? I couldn't make up something so awesome.