There's Nothing Like The Smell of Burning Teeth To Start Your Day Off Right

Huzzah! At really freaking early o'clock this morning, I got up, went downtown, and bought myself a good old-fashioned root canal. To tell you the truth, it was way more extremely awesome than I could have ever dreamed in my wildest dreams. I never thought I'd feel this way about dental surgery, but it was honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me, ever since that fabulous smoothie I had last Tuesday. From the topical anesthetic to the extensive toothal drilling to the drool still leaking out the corner of my mouth, I truly enjoyed every single magical minute of it. And, in the name of all that is pain-free and tooth-shaped, I give you today's gallery of crapfts, in honor of my new dentist, Owen:


This hot little number should be at the top of any fashonista's spring wish-list. Not only does it express a specific laizzes-faire approach to fashion, but it is uniquely able to proudly display the wearers affinity for excessive neon red plastic tooth accessories. Classy. And Sexy. Clexy.


This, my darlings, is not just any bracelet. It's a Vicodin bracelet. As in, a bracelet made out of play-doh Vicodin. See those oddly misshapen markings stamped into the side of the fake Vicodin? Those, evidently, say "Vicodin". As in, the highly addictive and wildly overused drug Vicodin. Perfect for any individual overly eager to publicly broadcast their unending love of prescription medications, such as Vicodin. And more Vicodin.

Vicodin.


Personally, I find this molar-shaped, hand-carved wooden owl box perfectly charming and totally normal. This cute lil' guy has an expression of his face all like "Whoo". As in, "whoo wouldn't want such an adorable and totally chic molar-shaped, hand-carved wooden owl box?"
Whoo, indeed.